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That won’t happen before the high tide comes in and submerges your rock, and then you’re all mine Quint style.īut just then BLAKE spots a DRUNK GUY passed out on the beach. Now I just have to stay alive until I can be rescued.
#WATERWORLD MOVIE MOTORIZED SURFBOARDS FREE#
Feel free to have long boring one-sided conversations with me.Īt least you’re not a soccer ball. It seems I’m wounded and trapped here just like you.
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So, I guess I’m stuck on this rock with no one to talk to. Wow, that was kind of badass, yet extremely brutal to watch.
#WATERWORLD MOVIE MOTORIZED SURFBOARDS SKIN#
She uses her earrings as makeshift stitches to keep her lacerated leg skin from flopping around all over the place. BLAKE swims over to a rock that just BARELY keeps her out of the water. The SHARK knocks BLAKE off the whale because SHARKS are malicious assholes. (goes off to marinate in tub of KC Masterpiece)Ĭome on Blake, get down off that dead whale so I can make you a little less lively. Well a little kid found our GoPro in the opening scene and watched us get violently eviscerated which totally spoils that reveal, so yeah you bet! We’re already out of the water and we’re leaving in our jeep byeeeee!!!īut you guys are coming back to get eaten right? Well I’ve managed to tourniquet my leg using my surfboard leash, and it seems I’m only 200 yards away from shore. Your ass is deader than fucking fried chicken. Well I managed to crawl on top of the dead whale where you can’t get me so leave me alone.Īre you kidding me? My girlfriend made me sit through all six seasons of Gossip Girl. Wait, how the hell did your teeth manage to leave such a surgical V-shaped bite mark on my leg without taking a huge chunk of flesh with it?Īpparently I’m a 70s pimp and I attack my victims with a straight razor. Where did this stinking whale corpse come from all of a sudden? It looks like somebody bit the fuck out of it.īLAKE is knocked off her surfboard and is suddenly swimming in a pool of her own blood. Trust us, after this it’s just Blake sitting on a rock and talking to herself for 40 minutes. Oh don’t mind us, we’re just helping to pad the running time just a teensie bit more. Then THE SHARK APPEARS AND THE KILLING BEGINS!!! BLAKE gets out of the water to Skype with her SISTER and ESTRANGED FATHER. Nah, I’m good over here where it’s safe, thanks.ĬUE: QUITE A BIT MORE B ROLL SURFING FOOTAGEĬUE: SERIOUSLY, JUST WAAAAY TOO MUCH B ROLL FOOTAGE Please come surf by us so we can at least be near a cute girl shortly before being brutally ripped apart in blood curdling agony. I have a GoPro strapped to my head for foreshadowing reasons. That should juuuuust about get the running time over 80 minutes to qualify as a major motion picture. Great, now that you empathize with me let’s get to the sharkening!ĬUE: TONS AND TONS AND FUCKING TONS(!!!) OF B ROLL SURFING FOOTAGE where my mom once came when she was pregnant with me and who is now dead from cancer. I’m just a young, beautiful, well off blonde girl looking to catch some rad waves on this tubular beach. UNNAMED SHARK INFESTED BEACH - MEXICOīLAKE LIVELY is showing off her thin and super toned post-pregnancy bikini bod.